Skip to main content

Waiting To Find Lena

Today I have decided to do what I've seen someone else do on facebook and make a sign with some of the information that I have on my birth mother. The first sign I made actually did not have the correct information on it in regards to my email address that I created just for this purpose, so I had to redo the photo. I've shared it on facebook, twitter, and instagram I'm actually thinking about sharing it on myspace. it may be dead space but it is still a part of the internet and some people actually still use myspace believe it or not. I feel so helpless now as I can only wait and see if anyone comes up with any information. I know that I will be checking every five seconds to see if my other email has received any emails. Although I know that that is torture to check it often I know that as the day progresses all I will be able to do is check to see how many shares my photo has gotten on facebook (2 so far) and see if there are any emails. I know that once this goes viral that I may end up getting a lot more dead ends then I bargain for. However I would rather get a lot of emails of dead ends than nothing at all. I' so nervous I can't think, but for the first time in my life I feel like I am really doing something, I feel as though a weight has been lifted off of me not the entire weight but enough to where I feel like I am on my way to understanding who I am and where I came from. Well these are my thoughts on the days events and it's only 10:06am. Until next time I'll be forever and always finding Lena.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Mental Health Pandemic

This is more or less an impulsive post. After many years, for the first time, I decided to watch Good Will Hunting. Of course, I'd seen it referenced in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but I'd never once actually seen the movie. I was quite shocked to see that Robin Williams was in this movie. Although the movie was an award-winning drama and was meant to play at your emotions, the entire time I couldn't help but feel saddened by the absence of Robin Williams in real life. 

Scream

Internally I scream at the top of my lungs, Louder and louder than I've ever sung, The invisible tears envelope me and wrap me in their arms, My mind does more damage to me than self harm, The cuts I can imagine, I no longer follow through, A win of sorts, But now what do I do? Smoke? Drink? I'm on the brink, Of insanity because sanity seems to escape me, Poetry no motion stuck in one place, Char Onyx Chamele pick one, Choose a face.

Mask on... Fuck it, Mask Off?

  It's frustrating that I even feel the need to write about this. It's more than frustrating, it's downright infuriating. It's so strange to look back on my life and see how far I have come. I used to have the worst attitude in the world. If my day was going bad I would take it out on anyone and everyone at any given time. It wasn't until I was at McDonald's one day, and a lady I had been really nasty to said to me "Honey, I haven't done anything to you." I remember exactly how I felt in that moment. The mere memory of it elicits the same emotions and feelings of that moment. The realization as it swept over me, the light that seemed to brighten my world, and the smile that spread across my face. I felt light, and I felt free. I apologized and vowed from that day forward that I would try my best not to take my bad day out on others. Admittingly, I still struggle with it from time to time, however, in those moments that I do forget I try to at least...