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Showing posts from 2014

Thoughts of my heart

Love
Oh love
How I long for thee
Your touch your kisses is like a spark igniting a flame
I am set ablaze by the mere thought of you
Oh the feel of your lips against mine
Will you ever love me as I love you
Will you ever know the extent
I could lie perfectly still and feel each and every touch
Each and every caress.
Sound asleep I dream you even when you are next to me
Surely the feel of your hands upon my though is a dream
The kisses to my neck a wonderful realistic illusion
I moan
Don't wake
I bade myself, not yet
Gasp-
The heat floods between my legs and still this can't be real
As your fingers slide into the warm wetness
I am awakened to ecstasy
I missed your touch
Longed for it
Needed so much more
Much more than you gave
I'm not finished
I should be done
But your kiss
The way you held me down
You found me in that moment
You didn't know
You couldn't
That part of me I've been trying to show
You earned a little glimpse
.......
Of everything you have found
I…

Late night thoughts

I spend a good portion of my day lost in my own thoughts. Between calls I find myself engrossed in all sorts of conversations. I think a lot about my relationship. The deeper I get into it the more I wonder. Some days it feels too easy to be real, other days it feels too hard to stay. All of it is mental. None of it really has anything to do with whether or not things are going right or going wrong. Again it's mental. We as women we create our own insecurities, and sometimes, we have help we never thought was there, creating those insecurities. I've just say back and watched the way things have unfolded from the beginning. When things started and he was my little secret to keep. I enjoyed it so much because, one, I knew that no one would understand why. Two, I wanted to give him a chance before outside opinion could influence what I wanted to know for myself. Three, I had to learn to trust... well trust more. I have to admit there were things I didn't trust. Things I reali…

Ovarian cancer?

I Had been having some strange symptoms. They had me more worried about being pregnant than anything, because of the fact that my tubes are tied. I made a doctor's appointment because I just didn't feel right. These "pregnancy" symptoms began to feel less like such and more like something else. WebMD, is a website that if you search enough symptoms you will think you are dying of some rare known disease that has no cure, so use it wisely. Playing with that app or website is like playing Russian roulette with blanks no matter what you tell yourself you are going to think you are dying. Anyway, I had my ultrasound today and I have no idea what it said, the lady would not tell me. So then Google became my friend as I became a medical student. I did find a very useful site; at least I think I did, that helped me understand a little about what I did see and understand from the answers she did give me. So based on what I saw and comparing notes and pictures from the web I …