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Showing posts from June, 2013

LENA FOUND!!!!!

I started this when it happened and haven't been able to write anything on it. I'm working this kind of backwards posting these that is. 
Lets see where do I begin?
Zabasearch was getting me nowhere and neither were any of the other sites that I was signed up for. I had often googled myself to see if I would come up and I didn't but figured hey maybe if I googled Lena Henderson it might work. Hey it could happen. I felt that even if I didn't find the one I was looking for maybe a Henderson would know a Henderson who knew a Henderson could pass on the information to a Henderson that might know. (Glad I found out my last name when I was young I refused to date anyone with any relations to Henderson's that would be so gross and weird if later we ended up related can we say awkward?) Anywho, I googled Lena Henderson and P.A. and found myself with a white woman... that was kind of odd so I didn't even bother to email her but then I found a lawyer named Lena Henderson …

I found them... so now what?

I found my mother and brother 23 days ago and the first week was chaotic. Calls from family emails  it's all been a bit overwhelming. Somehow it still doesn't feel real. I guess mainly because I haven't been able to go and visit them and vise versa. I have seen plenty of pictures and even found an Aunt not too far from where I now live, she at least in the same state as I am in, I don't know however what to say to her or to anyone for that matter. It's like I know they want to know all about my life and what it was like growing up and I want to tell them but I feel as if it is something I should tell them in person as I'm sure they want to tell me everything in person. Its funny I never really could figure out who it was that my son looked like and now that I've seen my brother I can see that he looks like my family. Beady little eyes and all. LoL I always looked in the mirror growing up and wondered who it was that I looked like if I looked like my father …

Broken

I'm tired
I'm broken
Sick to my core
Why oh why
Did this happen once more
Confined scared
Alone with you in a room
Another piece broken
Hiding another scar
This can't be all there is
All they are
Tears on the floor
Who will clean them up
Invisible to the naked eye
A constant reminder
All I can ask is why
Why does this keep happening
What am I doing wrong
First I've had someone for me
Hadn't Let myself be open in so long
To have this happen how do I heal
Close my eyes and pretend it was never real.