I found my mother and brother 23 days ago and the first week was chaotic. Calls from family emails it's all been a bit overwhelming. Somehow it still doesn't feel real. I guess mainly because I haven't been able to go and visit them and vise versa. I have seen plenty of pictures and even found an Aunt not too far from where I now live, she at least in the same state as I am in, I don't know however what to say to her or to anyone for that matter. It's like I know they want to know all about my life and what it was like growing up and I want to tell them but I feel as if it is something I should tell them in person as I'm sure they want to tell me everything in person. Its funny I never really could figure out who it was that my son looked like and now that I've seen my brother I can see that he looks like my family. Beady little eyes and all. LoL I always looked in the mirror growing up and wondered who it was that I looked like if I looked like my father or if I looked like my mother. I look exactly like my mother! And my Aunt! It's the little things about yourself that you wonder about when you grow up if you share the same things with the people you didn't grow up knowing. my brother and I both have the same views on a lot of different things. I can't wait to meet everyone I can't wait to hug my mother and my brother. The only thing that I truly struggle with is that I have missed so much of my families life, there is a part of me that wants to move and be closer to them but at the same time the woman I grew up with who is still my mother even though she is not blood, I know she would see that as the ultimate betrayal. She's already "warned" me that my bio-mom can't have her grandbabies. LoL So now what? Where do I go from here? OH and the saying that I was born and bred a PITTSBURGH STEELER is absolutely true. Ha ha ha.
I want to be able to say that I've never been out and out raped, but at the end of the day no means no and I said it; I said no. It's moments like those that live in your mind and don't go away. You keep replaying them until you've