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Showing posts from March, 2015

Sweet dream... Or a beautiful nightmare?

I had three conflicting dreams.  My first dream was that I married my ex boyfriend. That was strange just for the fact that yea he's my ex boyfriend but I'm pretty sure he doesn't see me as wifey material. LoL My second dream was about me talking to my future husband (which is not my ex boyfriend) about something we had in a common and the conversation was going good until he had to leave and I really didn't want him to go. So he left. My final dream was the nightmare. I was on a trip with friend and family. Tasha was there Jade Jasmine Josiah Leigh Destiny Tiana Naisha Jordan Tara and my mommy.  It was a cross between a memory of a place and a dream. But we were at Disney World. My mother and I had to go somewhere.  It was raining cats and dogs we took this long street I was driving kind of fast this four lane road turned into two lanes quickly with a death drop off the side and no guardrails we almost went of the side as it turned into one lane panicking I went dow

Marriage? *Facepalm*

Seriously, honestly. That is how I feel. I just want to start by saying that I loved the word and guidance brought forth by Team Robinson tonight (3-20-2015). There was a lot of good information a lot that actually hit close to home. You know me though. I have to over think everything. So lets get into my personal thoughts no so much on the lesson itself but on some things that I have known and realized about myself.  I was never meant to just be a someone's girlfriend. I say that often and people really do look at me funny. However for as long as I can remember all I ever wanted to do was get married have children and live happily ever after. Of course as I got older I did realize what true happily ever after was. It did not consist of a big castle, a large banquet full of food for everyone. I realized over the years that happily ever after was the ability to look at the same person day in and day out and know that they get on your everlasting nerves sometimes, but you couldn&

For my future husband

My dearest love, I pray your day was filled with joy. You crossed my mind often and if I could have told you I would have. I live for the twinkle in your eye and the smile on your face. I wonder if you are waiting for God to reveal me to you as I know he has already revealed you to me. He's already told me that there would never be a dull conversation between us. That we would share many laughs together. That we would always hold each other up and be unafraid to communicate and take everything to God in prayer. He's told me that I can trust you with my deepest fears and greatest desires. He has already told me that aside from him there is no one will who will encourage me more than you. There is nothing I guess about you, God has told me that he has made you perfectly imperfect for me and that when the time is right we will give our hearts to each other before Him. I can't help but miss you right now. I can hardly wait for the promise that God has for us to be fulfilled.

Lent Part 2

3/8/2015   I can't remember my thoughts from the last post about Lent but one that has been recurring as of lately is that one that is prompted by the ever lasting argument I seem to have with a friend of mine that Lent is only observed by Catholics. I literally only learned about Lent maybe two years ago, I did however grow up with the knowledge of Palm Sunday, Good Friday, and of course Easter Sunday. I had heard about Ash Wednesday when I was a child, who attended St. Edwards Catholic School. I, however, could not tell you what it was about or for I just knew that the people were walking around with ashes on their forehead... and that holy water was salty. (I don't even remember how old I was it's a distant memory that somehow stays but is never truly clear.) I've gone back and forth about this and my friend stated that his church hasn't observed Good Friday or Palm Sunday. "Well it sounds to me like maybe you need to find a new church..." Was my respo

Lost in my dream

I guess I am just in one of those moods tonight. Being single sucks... but getting lost in my dream... sometimes I love it just as much as I hate it.  There are moments where I imagine my future husband coming home from work after a long day. I greet him and ask him how his day was kissing him on the cheek. In this dream the kids are well behaved and not running around getting on my nerves talking about how they don't want to do home work. Dinner is done and ready to be served. We sit down to a meal on actual dinnerware no plastic plates forks spoons or knives. We join hands and my husband leads us in prayer. We eat and go around the table asking how each others day went. There are no electronics just us, together as a family. The children help clean the kitchen afterwards and then head off to bed kissing us goodnight. My husband and I spend time together. Maybe he wants to unwind and watch TV while I curl up next to him reading a book. Neither one of us needs to say anything just