There is a movie on netflix right now called "The November Rule". I love that movie. One of the reasons why is because in retrospect, I have a rule similar to that. I try very hard not to be attached beyond October 31st. It is something that I have done for years now. The season known to many as cuffing season has always been a time when I "uncuff" so to speak. There have been many false reasons as to why I do this. Such as, don't want to spend time with their families, don't want to have to give them gifts for Christmas, and the ultimate one... I hate Valentine's day.
I had to step back and try to figure out where in the world this came from. The simple answer is that my past has prevented me from ever really wanting to be with someone during that time. If you are with someone there is always room for disappointment. Not to mention the memories associated with that time frame.
Christmas has been hard for me since 2010. The memories created in my marriage of the holidays hindered forward progress. The one time I allowed someone to replace those wonderful memories of those holidays turned into more heartbreak. So naturally I just decided to stay away from attaching to anyone during that time frame.
Why? Why do I stay away from getting into a relationship during cuffing season when so many others are cozying up for the winter? Simple, I can hide from disappointment. I don't have to wonder if there is a reason I wasn't invited to Thanksgiving dinner. I don't have to be disappointed by the age old, "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for Christmas money was tight, I didn't even get blah blah blah anything." Then there is also the avoidance of the disappointment of Valentine's day. "Sorry, I couldn't see you I had to work." All of these things in the minds of others probably seem like they are just things that happen in life. No, these are things that happen to me. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. One could argue that my choices are the reason that I have such a hard time during this time of year, and honestly you would be absolutely correct in that assumption. Still, it does not change how I feel about cuffing season and the November rule.
Logic tells me that if I date someone in the non cuffing months I will come to know by November if they are flaky or not for the holidays. In most cases I am correct and the relationship ends before I get to those holidays.
I am a sentimental person, holidays and the memories associated with them are things that stick in my mind for years. Some of the best holiday's I have spent have actually been with friends who somehow have come to understand my aversion to holidays.
Why? Why do I stay away from getting into a relationship during cuffing season when so many others are cozying up for the winter? Simple, I can hide from disappointment. I don't have to wonder if there is a reason I wasn't invited to Thanksgiving dinner. I don't have to be disappointed by the age old, "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for Christmas money was tight, I didn't even get blah blah blah anything." Then there is also the avoidance of the disappointment of Valentine's day. "Sorry, I couldn't see you I had to work." All of these things in the minds of others probably seem like they are just things that happen in life. No, these are things that happen to me. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. One could argue that my choices are the reason that I have such a hard time during this time of year, and honestly you would be absolutely correct in that assumption. Still, it does not change how I feel about cuffing season and the November rule.
Logic tells me that if I date someone in the non cuffing months I will come to know by November if they are flaky or not for the holidays. In most cases I am correct and the relationship ends before I get to those holidays.
I am a sentimental person, holidays and the memories associated with them are things that stick in my mind for years. Some of the best holiday's I have spent have actually been with friends who somehow have come to understand my aversion to holidays.
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