Skip to main content

Why I Wore Slippers to Church




Today I wore minion slippers to church. No, it wasn't because I was in my pajama's; I was actually wearing regular clothing. Maybe I should explain how my day started...Let me take you back to last week. I was invited to a total of 3 birthday dinners two on Friday and one on Saturday. I went to two out of three of those dinners. That may not seem like a lot to most folks but between work, hypersomnia, depression, anxiety, and being an introvert those activities took a lot out of me. Fast forward to this weekend. Saturday night I was again invited to another dinner, this time I was so exhausted by life and everything else it took me five hours to get dressed and convince myself to go. Because depression has been keeping me in the house and isolated lately I've been trying to force myself to go out and socialize, this includes church.

I didn't sleep very well last night I kept waking up and finding myself unable to get back to sleep for a while. I initially thought because I was tired I would sleep through time to go to church but found myself awake at 8:30. I got up and got dressed because I knew there was something for me to hear at church today because the devil was trying his hardest to keep me home. I put on my clothes and my minion slippers and headed to McDonald's for breakfast then came home and ate while sitting in my car as I often do. I'd taken my "awake medicine" as I call it to hopefully wake me up completely before church otherwise I feared sleeping would be the outcome. It literally took me an hour and a half to talk myself into going to church. Since I was already in the car and had it running I put it into drive and took off for church.

I haven't been to church in well over a month due to work and anxiety. The fear of the looks of people I know saying they haven't seen me in a while was gripping. I should have been comforted in the knowledge that people would care enough to notice my absence but that would just bring more attention to myself than I wanted. So why did I wear slippers to church? Surely they would attract more attention than my presence. I wore them because they were a source of comfort. Sometimes the things I need to do in order to be comfortable are not conventional. Sometimes they stand out more than they blend in but the security of it helps to calm me. I still had a bit of anxiety as I sat there through praise and worship but it slowly shifted and I became comfortable. No one asked me why I was wearing slippers no one even noticed my feet and if they did they didn't say anything. 

Again it may not seem like much, and it may even be considered a faux pas to most people, but I don't look at it that way. Today I overcame anxiety, depression, and social anxiety and made it to the one place I'd been wanting to go for over a month. The message that was preached today was exactly what I needed to hear and the financial workshop I'd forgotten about was exactly where I needed to be. So yes, I wore slippers to church today but in doing so I conquored so much more. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Mental Health Pandemic

This is more or less an impulsive post. After many years, for the first time, I decided to watch Good Will Hunting. Of course, I'd seen it referenced in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but I'd never once actually seen the movie. I was quite shocked to see that Robin Williams was in this movie. Although the movie was an award-winning drama and was meant to play at your emotions, the entire time I couldn't help but feel saddened by the absence of Robin Williams in real life. 

Get Ready

I was walking at work one day when I heard a small still voice say "get ready". It stopped me in my tracks because there was no one else around other than myself. Get ready? Get ready for what? "Get ready". In my heart, I knew what it meant but I was and somewhat am not so much reluctant but anxious about what was ahead of me. 

I Thought I Could Help You, You Helped Me.

I was in the middle of watching a sermon on Youtube this morning when I kept getting this nagging thought about my calling. It's not an unfamiliar thought, just one that was so persistent I couldn't even finish the sermon. I have therefore spent the past 2 hours now trying to find scripture and stories in the Bible that align with what is perplexing me at the moment. The subject of the morning is purpose.  One of the most exciting moments in my life was last year when I got the call for a job I'd forgotten I had even applied for. Even in the interview, there was never a doubt in my mind that I wouldn't get the job, and I am happy to say that it's 8 months later and I am still here. What is this job that I am talking about? The official title for my job is "youth worker" the unofficial reality is juvenile corrections worker. I've always wanted to do something with social work, psychology, or anything with adolescents. I have always wanted to reach if I