I didn't sleep very well last night I kept waking up and finding myself unable to get back to sleep for a while. I initially thought because I was tired I would sleep through time to go to church but found myself awake at 8:30. I got up and got dressed because I knew there was something for me to hear at church today because the devil was trying his hardest to keep me home. I put on my clothes and my minion slippers and headed to McDonald's for breakfast then came home and ate while sitting in my car as I often do. I'd taken my "awake medicine" as I call it to hopefully wake me up completely before church otherwise I feared sleeping would be the outcome. It literally took me an hour and a half to talk myself into going to church. Since I was already in the car and had it running I put it into drive and took off for church.
I haven't been to church in well over a month due to work and anxiety. The fear of the looks of people I know saying they haven't seen me in a while was gripping. I should have been comforted in the knowledge that people would care enough to notice my absence but that would just bring more attention to myself than I wanted. So why did I wear slippers to church? Surely they would attract more attention than my presence. I wore them because they were a source of comfort. Sometimes the things I need to do in order to be comfortable are not conventional. Sometimes they stand out more than they blend in but the security of it helps to calm me. I still had a bit of anxiety as I sat there through praise and worship but it slowly shifted and I became comfortable. No one asked me why I was wearing slippers no one even noticed my feet and if they did they didn't say anything.
Again it may not seem like much, and it may even be considered a faux pas to most people, but I don't look at it that way. Today I overcame anxiety, depression, and social anxiety and made it to the one place I'd been wanting to go for over a month. The message that was preached today was exactly what I needed to hear and the financial workshop I'd forgotten about was exactly where I needed to be. So yes, I wore slippers to church today but in doing so I conquored so much more.
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