A Tiger and Her Stripes

My dear future husband, I've been thinking lately. You know I haven't written anything to you in awhile. I think it was because writing you made me over eager to meet you. When you love someone before even meeting them it makes you anxious to meet them. It even makes you anxious to the point where you try to find that person in every guy you meet. I know for a fact that when I meet you I will just know who you are. There will be no guessing, no hope, it will just be you. I've been a little down lately. Not on everything just some things from my past. A particular person. I'm attached to them and I care about them and I would like to be completely over them with his and mines friendship still in tact. I don't know if that is possible. I pray that it is. I hope you to know that I don't think of you any less than I have previously. You are on my mind often; I pray for you. I know that God has created you perfectly for me, and I for you. I must admit it makes me ...

What you see is an illusion Something you think is real You can guess You can speculate You can only guess how I truly feel You may catch a glimpse I will always throw doubt But I'm always straight forward If you can figure me out Within every lie Something may actually be true All of it is All doesn't pertain to you I tell stories you see Past present future intertwined I cannot let you see What is in this heart of mine But if you know If you can tell I'm talking to you Maybe this illusion Is actually true.

Temptation His smile His drive His ambition So... Attractive One glance One touch My body So... Reactive. How long Have we know each other now Years... I'm sure Still I don't know how It's there You can see it You almost feel in the way Because Inbetween the cause Our eyes will play Tag Your turn to glance at me My turn to blush Bite your lip for me It's good to see you Good to see you too Keep in touch I will Then the moment fades Until the next cause Or chance encounter Is made.

I am hardly ever speaking directly to someone when I post. In fact most of the time I am actually speaking to myself more than I am speaking to anyone... with that being said. I'm still on sexual purity. No one wants to hear about that. No one wants to hear about abstinence, everyone wants to hear about how good God is and ride the coattails of his many blessings.  Song Of Solomon 8:4 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. This verse is straight forward and to the point there is nothing that needs to be said with this one. There is a time and place for everything. To awake Love to arouse Love before completely understanding exactly what it is to love without understanding the desires of Love causes heartbreak.  1 Corinthians 6:13b The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. Society is fooling everyone into thinking that casual sex is without consequence. That it is someth...

I just wanted to hear those words. I figured after all that time he would know that I was ready that I was just waiting to be asked. The sad reality is that he didn't even know if he wanted the same things as I did. When we date a man it has but one goal, and we think to ourselves if we just get this right if we just last long enough sure enough he will ask, we will accept, and once those wedding bells sound we will be in marital bliss.  The pain of trying to get there is exponential. Each time we try, it takes a little more out of us. We care just a little more and a little less all at the same time. I couldn't even begin to explain the pain I felt over one of my exes we'll call him Lage. That man didn't break my heart, he broke me. I was broken, I lost myself because of what I allowed from him. I saw it clearly and still I fell because he loved me, he said he loved me, he meant he loved me, but did he really? In some strange twisted way I believe that he did love me...

6-26-2015 Gay Marriage became legal across the united states. I've seen post after post after post celebrating its legalization. I personally have mixed emotions about ruling. Here are my reasons why... I originally voted FOR the legalization of gay marriage. I remember the day I voted plain as day. I was getting ready to go vote and my mother looked at me and said remember to vote against it. I rolled my eyes and voted for it. I didn't really think that it would pass for Kentucky but I figured if they want to get married why not. Who am I to judge them if they want to get married it doesn't affect me... I was young stupid and I had personal reasons as to why I was for it at the time. I'm not old but it seems like a lifetime ago. Fast forward to today's (6-26-2015) ruling. I've felt unsettled since the ruling. I've seen so much. People happy about it people saying that's great what about legalizing being black in America and people completely ignoring i...

So I was listening to a sermon/discussion on iDisciple by June Hunt Called Discerning Your Spiritual Gift. I was enthralled with what she was talking about. I had heard about the spiritual gifts but I really didn't bother to look them up. I've actually been reading them in various books of the bible I have been studying lately. I cheated however and googled the ones that I could not find. I did find a website that described them to me very plainly.  http://christianity.about.com/od/holyspirittopicalstudy/a/spiritualgifts_2.htm June Hunt basically just said that to find out your spiritual gift take a look at the things that you have done in ministry and write down what it is that gave you the most joy and then compare that to the list of your spiritual gifts and do that. So I got my cheat sheet google and wrote on a piece of paper all of the spiritual gifts... there are way more than I knew about, but I wrote those down and I happily checked them off. I checked off t...