A Tiger and Her Stripes

CHAPTER 1 I couldn't believe Edith had the nerve to act like she was better than me. Who did she think she was? I mean I've been saved since I was ten years old. I know who God is, I know who Jesus is, and they are the only ones who can judge me. Sure my life isn't perfect but whose is. We all sin, I repent of my sins every day as long as God forgives me I don't care what anyone else thinks of me and that includes my high and mighty sister. I guess I would be spending more time at John's house after my weekend binges, now that my sister had kicked me out and taken back her key.

I had a blog post all written out in my notebook and decided not to post it but to write off the cuff.  Today was a good day... for most of the day. At some point I began thinking about grief and how it affects me and that completely tanked my mood for a while. I, of course, started thinking about Justin. For those of you who don't know who Justin is, he's a dear friend and a former love interest of mine who passed away July 6th, 2017.

Something happened today (12-10-18) that made me evaluate one particular event in my life. As the title might suggest and actually gives away, I've been thinking about why at the age of 13 I ran away from home.

I was walking at work one day when I heard a small still voice say "get ready". It stopped me in my tracks because there was no one else around other than myself. Get ready? Get ready for what? "Get ready". In my heart, I knew what it meant but I was and somewhat am not so much reluctant but anxious about what was ahead of me. 

Today I wore minion slippers to church. No, it wasn't because I was in my pajama's; I was actually wearing regular clothing. Maybe I should explain how my day started...

Every day is a struggle for me, some days more than others. Let's just say that this year is not my financial year and I found myself depressed and angry. In a recent venting session with my boyfriend, I asked this question; Why do the most faithful to God struggle so much?

For God Has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, Love, and sound judgment. 2 Timothy 1:7 (HCSB) Anxiety; we feel it in our chest