Skip to main content

Lord Why?

Again, Lord why? Why am I a walking talking DSM-5? For those of you who don't know what the DSM-5 is according to, it is The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the handbook used by health care professionals in the United States and much of the world as the authoritative guide to the diagnosis of mental disorders. DSM contains descriptions, symptoms, and other criteria for diagnosing mental disorders...
I guess this is more of a rant than something inspirational. I'm a little down right now because I feel like there is so much working against me at this current time. It may be an exaggeration to say that I am a walking talking DSM-5 but it doesn't lessen the frustration I have dealing with all of my diagnosis. It seems as though something new is added almost every other year or so and it is a bit tiresome, to say the least.

The most frustrating diagnosis I have out is ADHD. I thought I had a pretty good handle on it now that I am an adult, however, I've come to learn that there are still things about ADHD I did not know. I didn't know that ADHD affected impulse control among other things I can't remember right now, which happens to be another symptom of ADHD forgetfulness. -Sigh- between the ADHD, Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.), Major depressive disorder, PTSD, Intrusive thought OCD, and General anxiety disorder it's no wonder I feel as though I am a walking DSM.

Even though on a daily I embrace my diagnosis' (spell check) and try to make the best out of all the situations I find myself in it gets a little hard sometimes when I constantly lose things or forget important dates. Then there is always the fear that I will forget someone entirely. That can get a bit awkward (<--- awkward looking word, tee hee) when I find myself staring at someone for long periods of time. I have to conscientiously remember not to stare because most people don't understand that what I am doing is memorizing their face and features. This would be the reason I ask for pictures constantly.   

I took a small break from this post because I was getting overwhelmed with even writing this, I decided to go and do some homework and came across a response to a post that said they loved my discussion pieces and the analogies I used. I had to go back and reread what I wrote and this is what stood out most to me:

“Life is a shark, if you’re not moving forward you’re dying.” This is the quote that stood out to me the most. Mainly because of the visual I get from an ad I see all the time on Facebook for a game. There is a fish trying to get away from a shark and he tries everything he can to slow down the shark but eventually fails. If he had just kept moving forward he would not have been eaten. Instead, his attempts to slow down the shark actually slowed him down. Life is a lot like that. If you don’t keep moving forward and keep looking back you will slow down in life and get overwhelmed by the things behind you. After all, you can’t change them anyway all you can do is keep moving forward. In the words of Dory from Finding Nemo, you have to “Just keep swimming.”

This couldn't have come at a better time. Here I was looking back at what I was diagnosed with instead of moving forward with the information I have on it and how to overcome it. So I guess in a way I found my own inspiration in my very own words. I started out asking Lord why, but now I know that it doesn't matter the reason why. All that matters is what you do moving forward.  


  1. I admire this article for the well-researched content and excellent wording. I got so involved in this material that I couldn’t stop reading. I am impressed with your work and skill. Thank you so much. Depression Treatment Centers South Jersey


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mental Health Pandemic

This is more or less an impulsive post. After many years, for the first time, I decided to watch Good Will Hunting. Of course, I'd seen it referenced in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but I'd never once actually seen the movie. I was quite shocked to see that Robin Williams was in this movie. Although the movie was an award-winning drama and was meant to play at your emotions, the entire time I couldn't help but feel saddened by the absence of Robin Williams in real life. 

Get Ready

I was walking at work one day when I heard a small still voice say "get ready". It stopped me in my tracks because there was no one else around other than myself. Get ready? Get ready for what? "Get ready". In my heart, I knew what it meant but I was and somewhat am not so much reluctant but anxious about what was ahead of me. 


How many of us have prayed for financial deliverance? How many of us have had faith that the Lord would give us that deliverance? As Christians, I am certain that we all have. "God, why do I struggle so much financially? X amount of dollars is not enough to live off of. Lord, I need financial deliverance!" Those are all things I've cried out and prayed before. I'm also the one who takes what little I have and puts it into the offering bucket, praying desperately along with pastor to press it down and shake it up so that it will be returned unto me tenfold. To what avail?  The truth is, I have done absolutely nothing to change my financial situation. Week after week, month after month, year after year I have prayed desperately for increase, and like so many others, yet I have been left wanting.  As I read the scriptures above I suddenly remembered The Parable Of The Talents ( Matthew 25:14-30 ). This passage is about a man who decided that while he was off