Lord Why?

Image credit: https://theconversation.com/us/topics/dsm-5-2189

Again, Lord why? Why am I a walking talking DSM-5? For those of you who don't know what the DSM-5 is according to Psychiatry.org, it is The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the handbook used by health care professionals in the United States and much of the world as the authoritative guide to the diagnosis of mental disorders. DSM contains descriptions, symptoms, and other criteria for diagnosing mental disorders...

I guess this is more of a rant than something inspirational. I'm a little down right now because I feel like there is so much working against me at this current time. It may be an exaggeration to say that I am a walking talking DSM-5 but it doesn't lessen the frustration I have dealing with all of my diagnosis. It seems as though something new is added almost every other year or so and it is a bit tiresome, to say the least.

The most frustrating diagnosis I have out is ADHD. I thought I had a pretty good handle on it now that I am an adult, however, I've come to learn that there are still things about ADHD I did not know. I didn't know that ADHD affected impulse control among other things I can't remember right now, which happens to be another symptom of ADHD forgetfulness. -Sigh- between the ADHD, Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.), Major depressive disorder, PTSD, Intrusive thought OCD, and General anxiety disorder it's no wonder I feel as though I am a walking DSM.

Even though on a daily I embrace my diagnosis' (spell check) and try to make the best out of all the situations I find myself in it gets a little hard sometimes when I constantly lose things or forget important dates. Then there is always the fear that I will forget someone entirely. That can get a bit awkward (<--- awkward looking word, tee hee) when I find myself staring at someone for long periods of time. I have to conscientiously remember not to stare because most people don't understand that what I am doing is memorizing their face and features. This would be the reason I ask for pictures constantly.   

I took a small break from this post because I was getting overwhelmed with even writing this, I decided to go and do some homework and came across a response to a post that said they loved my discussion pieces and the analogies I used. I had to go back and reread what I wrote and this is what stood out most to me:

“Life is a shark, if you’re not moving forward you’re dying.” This is the quote that stood out to me the most. Mainly because of the visual I get from an ad I see all the time on Facebook for a game. There is a fish trying to get away from a shark and he tries everything he can to slow down the shark but eventually fails. If he had just kept moving forward he would not have been eaten. Instead, his attempts to slow down the shark actually slowed him down. Life is a lot like that. If you don’t keep moving forward and keep looking back you will slow down in life and get overwhelmed by the things behind you. After all, you can’t change them anyway all you can do is keep moving forward. In the words of Dory from Finding Nemo, you have to “Just keep swimming.”

This couldn't have come at a better time. Here I was looking back at what I was diagnosed with instead of moving forward with the information I have on it and how to overcome it. So I guess in a way I found my own inspiration in my very own words. I started out asking Lord why, but now I know that it doesn't matter the reason why. All that matters is what you do moving forward.