Skip to main content

The Voice Within

I've had such a difficult time writing as of lately. Even the simplest of things have become jumbled somewhere in my mind and from fingers, to paper I lose something in the translation. Words are the biggest part of me and I fully believe that words and writing are what I am meant to do with my life, as well as help heal.

I've been writing on my book Edith Freed and I have begun to notice that the tone of the book is changing which is great she's finally becoming herself and I am happy to see her growth. However, I find that my personalities are clashing and writing the book together. This leads me to wonder what the end game is. When I started writing Genevieve Lost I had a vague idea of where the story was headed and what the ending would look like. With Edith, I'm not so sure. There are characters that are speaking up wanting their own points of view who were never meant to have them, and then there are parts that I have written that I didn't even know I was going to write. Such is the life of a person with DID.

I am not my DID but my DID is me. When you have multiple people inputting their perspective on things it can be difficult to weed through the things that are helpful and the things that are useless. I have been switching a lot lately because of stress. This leads me to feel as though I am a glitch. For example, as I am writing this I am disconnected from what I am writing. I'm not even sure I know who is writing this. Much like when I am writing on my story I will eventually look up and reread what I have written to see that somewhere somehow the flow of it just doesn't match and then I have to determine who wrote it and why. Focused writing with DID can be difficult but not impossible. 

So what do you do with multiple people and multiple voices? You embrace them and let them speak. You monitor what they say and adjust accordingly. In some way, I fear that the condition will hinder my writing style and make it impossible to follow and then in other ways, I feel that maybe just maybe it will inspire someone to write as well. 


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Just(in) Grief 2

I had a blog post all written out in my notebook and decided not to post it but to write off the cuff. 

Today was a good day... for most of the day. At some point I began thinking about grief and how it affects me and that completely tanked my mood for a while. I, of course, started thinking about Justin. For those of you who don't know who Justin is, he's a dear friend and a former love interest of mine who passed away July 6th, 2017.

Get Ready

I was walking at work one day when I heard a small still voice say "get ready". It stopped me in my tracks because there was no one else around other than myself. Get ready? Get ready for what? "Get ready". In my heart, I knew what it meant but I was and somewhat am not so much reluctant but anxious about what was ahead of me. 

Genevieve Lost

I couldn't believe Edith had the nerve to act like she was better than me. Who did she think she was? I mean I've been saved since I was ten years old. I know who God is, I know who Jesus is, and they are the only ones who can judge me. Sure my life isn't perfect but whose is. We all sin, I repent of my sins every day as long as God forgives me I don't care what anyone else thinks of me and that includes my high and mighty sister. I guess I would be spending more time at John's house after my weekend binges, now that my sister had kicked me out and taken back her key.