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The Voice Within


I've had such a difficult time writing as of lately. Even the simplest of things have become jumbled somewhere in my mind and from fingers, to paper I lose something in the translation. Words are the biggest part of me and I fully believe that words and writing are what I am meant to do with my life, as well as help heal.

I've been writing on my book Edith Freed and I have begun to notice that the tone of the book is changing which is great she's finally becoming herself and I am happy to see her growth. However, I find that my personalities are clashing and writing the book together. This leads me to wonder what the end game is. When I started writing Genevieve Lost I had a vague idea of where the story was headed and what the ending would look like. With Edith, I'm not so sure. There are characters that are speaking up wanting their own points of view who were never meant to have them, and then there are parts that I have written that I didn't even know I was going to write. Such is the life of a person with DID.

I am not my DID but my DID is me. When you have multiple people inputting their perspective on things it can be difficult to weed through the things that are helpful and the things that are useless. I have been switching a lot lately because of stress. This leads me to feel as though I am a glitch. For example, as I am writing this I am disconnected from what I am writing. I'm not even sure I know who is writing this. Much like when I am writing on my story I will eventually look up and reread what I have written to see that somewhere somehow the flow of it just doesn't match and then I have to determine who wrote it and why. Focused writing with DID can be difficult but not impossible. 

 So what do you do with multiple people and multiple voices? You embrace them and let them speak. You monitor what they say and adjust accordingly. In some way, I fear that the condition will hinder my writing style and make it impossible to follow and then in other ways, I feel that maybe just maybe it will inspire someone to write as well. 
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