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I'm Not Sorry...When Forgiveness of Self Seems Impossible

Sorry: Feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.

Repent: 2. To feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one's life for the better; be penitent.

Forgive: To grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve. 

One of the hardest things to do is forgive. When someone does us wrong the pain of that wrong can linger, sometimes for years causing resentment. Try as we might it can cling to us and prohibit us from moving forward in our lives. This can be more so true when the person who wronged us is not sorry for their actions against us nor expresses any sort of remorse. I want you to stop for a moment and reread that, thos titimtitime envisioning the person that has wrong you as yourself. Can you forgive?

It is true that it is difficult to forgive others but it is also true that it is even more difficult to forgive ourselves. We will often times hold on the wrong that we have done to ourselves or others and beat ourselves up about it, wallowing in the guilt of it. "God I'm sorry" we repent. We've even apologized to those we have wronged, changed, and turned away from the behavior yet we are still unable to forgive ourselves. Our Father has forgiven us so why can't we?

When we refuse to let go of the hurt we may have caused ourselves or others the devil has a way of shutting down our emotions to the situation, tricking us into thinking we're not truly sorry about the situation. He traps us in the guilt and shame of it to prevent us from repenting and experiencing true change. He simply doesn't want us to forgive ourselves. He wants us to live in a prison of shame so that it may hold us back from the divine assignment on our lives. When we fail to forgive as God has already forgiven us, we often tend to hold ourselves back from the true calling on our lives. We take on a burden we were never meant to bear that was already hung n the cross and paid for. 

So how do we go about forgiving ourselves? 

1. Repent. We cannot first forgive ourselves without asking for forgiveness from the Father. 

2. Recognize that sin happens and no sin weighs more than another. What's important is that once we recognize we have sinned and repented for that sin that we do not continue to live in that sin. Accept that it happened.

3. Realize God never intended for us to be perfect. There is only one man God sent to this earth to be perfect and that is our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ. 

4. Love yourself enough to let go. You've already done the hard part by apologizing to the person you've wronged even if that person is yourself. You own it to yourself to forgive yourself. 

None of these steps are particularly easy in fact they are something that you will have to remember and do quite often. I suggest writing down these steps and looking back over them whenever you find yourself unable to forgive yourself. Sin happens and we can't go back in time and change it. However we can accept it for what it is... a weakness of the flesh, but we have the ability to change going forward and that is all that matters. 


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