Skip to main content

I'm Not Sorry...When Forgiveness of Self Seems Impossible



Sorry: Feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.

Repent: 2. To feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one's life for the better; be penitent.

Forgive: To grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve. 

.
One of the hardest things to do is forgive. When someone does us wrong the pain of that wrong can linger, sometimes for years causing resentment. Try as we might it can cling to us and prohibit us from moving forward in our lives. This can be more so true when the person who wronged us is not sorry for their actions against us nor expresses any sort of remorse. I want you to stop for a moment and reread that, thos titimtitime envisioning the person that has wrong you as yourself. Can you forgive?

It is true that it is difficult to forgive others but it is also true that it is even more difficult to forgive ourselves. We will often times hold on the wrong that we have done to ourselves or others and beat ourselves up about it, wallowing in the guilt of it. "God I'm sorry" we repent. We've even apologized to those we have wronged, changed, and turned away from the behavior yet we are still unable to forgive ourselves. Our Father has forgiven us so why can't we?




When we refuse to let go of the hurt we may have caused ourselves or others the devil has a way of shutting down our emotions to the situation, tricking us into thinking we're not truly sorry about the situation. He traps us in the guilt and shame of it to prevent us from repenting and experiencing true change. He simply doesn't want us to forgive ourselves. He wants us to live in a prison of shame so that it may hold us back from the divine assignment on our lives. When we fail to forgive as God has already forgiven us, we often tend to hold ourselves back from the true calling on our lives. We take on a burden we were never meant to bear that was already hung n the cross and paid for. 

So how do we go about forgiving ourselves? 

1. Repent. We cannot first forgive ourselves without asking for forgiveness from the Father. 

2. Recognize that sin happens and no sin weighs more than another. What's important is that once we recognize we have sinned and repented for that sin that we do not continue to live in that sin. Accept that it happened.

3. Realize God never intended for us to be perfect. There is only one man God sent to this earth to be perfect and that is our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ. 

4. Love yourself enough to let go. You've already done the hard part by apologizing to the person you've wronged even if that person is yourself. You own it to yourself to forgive yourself. 

None of these steps are particularly easy in fact they are something that you will have to remember and do quite often. I suggest writing down these steps and looking back over them whenever you find yourself unable to forgive yourself. Sin happens and we can't go back in time and change it. However we can accept it for what it is... a weakness of the flesh, but we have the ability to change going forward and that is all that matters. 













Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Get Ready

I was walking at work one day when I heard a small still voice say "get ready". It stopped me in my tracks because there was no one else around other than myself. Get ready? Get ready for what? "Get ready". In my heart, I knew what it meant but I was and somewhat am not so much reluctant but anxious about what was ahead of me. 

Increase

How many of us have prayed for financial deliverance? How many of us have had faith that the Lord would give us that deliverance? As Christians, I am certain that we all have. "God, why do I struggle so much financially? X amount of dollars is not enough to live off of. Lord, I need financial deliverance!" Those are all things I've cried out and prayed before. I'm also the one who takes what little I have and puts it into the offering bucket, praying desperately along with pastor to press it down and shake it up so that it will be returned unto me tenfold. To what avail?  The truth is, I have done absolutely nothing to change my financial situation. Week after week, month after month, year after year I have prayed desperately for increase, and like so many others, yet I have been left wanting.  As I read the scriptures above I suddenly remembered The Parable Of The Talents ( Matthew 25:14-30 ). This passage is about a man who decided that while he was off

Mental Health Pandemic

This is more or less an impulsive post. After many years, for the first time, I decided to watch Good Will Hunting. Of course, I'd seen it referenced in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but I'd never once actually seen the movie. I was quite shocked to see that Robin Williams was in this movie. Although the movie was an award-winning drama and was meant to play at your emotions, the entire time I couldn't help but feel saddened by the absence of Robin Williams in real life.