Skip to main content

Jesus this hurts

Jesus this hurts
I don't want this pain
I think of where I could be
Should be
And where I'm not
Take it away
Please let it stop
This is why
I don't give the real me
The pain
Is too much you see
I don't feel in the surface
I feel in my soul
I don't give Charlene
I don't give Nicole
This one time
Since him
The one who got away
I gave
I gave
Like him
You didn't stay
Oh but like him
You see
You didn't leave
You stayed I stayed
How could you not see
So much more
So much more
I needed from you
I tried so hard
To ween myself off of you
Jesus
God
Just help me sleep
To awake
Move on
And find someone
I can keep.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Get Ready

I was walking at work one day when I heard a small still voice say "get ready". It stopped me in my tracks because there was no one else around other than myself. Get ready? Get ready for what? "Get ready". In my heart, I knew what it meant but I was and somewhat am not so much reluctant but anxious about what was ahead of me. 

Post a Comment
Read more

Me Too Transparency

I want to be able to say that I've never been out and out raped, but at the end of the day no means no and I said it; I said no. It's moments like those that live in your mind and don't go away. You keep replaying them until you've
4 comments
Read more

Holes In The Wall

I wish this were my wall. I want so badly to just punch and punch and punch until every emotion, every hurt is gone from my body. The realization that today a year ago was the last time I spoke to Justin has set in and I haven't been able to stop crying. There is no bad to remember. Only good, and the more I focus on remembering the good and trying to find peace within it the more pain I feel. I've come full circle with my grief and I'm stuck at anger. I want to understand. I want to know why. I need to know why, and the answer is just not there. Why can't I just grieve on the one day? The day he died? Why must I cry now?

I'm so guilt-ridden for all the things I didn't do when I had the chance. I'm guilt-ridden for loving so soon after his death. I feel like there should have been a time period in which I... I don't even know. At this point, I feel like pushing everyone away. Staying to myself and not letting anyone in. Not just temporarily but permanent…
1 comment
Read more