Jesus this hurts
I don't want this pain
I think of where I could be
Should be
And where I'm not
Take it away
Please let it stop
This is why
I don't give the real me
The pain
Is too much you see
I don't feel in the surface
I feel in my soul
I don't give Charlene
I don't give Nicole
This one time
Since him
The one who got away
I gave
I gave
Like him
You didn't stay
Oh but like him
You see
You didn't leave
You stayed I stayed
How could you not see
So much more
So much more
I needed from you
I tried so hard
To ween myself off of you
Jesus
God
Just help me sleep
To awake
Move on
And find someone
I can keep.
Appearances will keep you bound. I share so much, yet so little, of my life. Whether it is out of "pretending" to be a private person or shame or both I couldn't tell you. Even now I'm almost certain it's that I'm not going to tell you. I have to explain some things about alcoholism . It is not as black and white as you might think it is. See my issue with drinking started back in 2010, 2011. I drank because it was fun. I drank because it was an escape. I drank because my life at that time was difficult, but I didn't drink daily. I've always been a binge drinker . I could party on the weekends and go to work like the weekend didn't happen. I even recognized back then the possibility of a drinking problem. The clearest incident in my mind was one night I had been drinking, I got sleepy and decided to go to bed, now, an alcoholic doesn't waste alcohol. I had my cup that was still about halfway full, I didn't want to guzzle the e...
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