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Test the Spirit By the Spirit

I have to start this with the dream I had last night. (4-18-2014)

I had the strangest dream. I was at a restaurant waiting to see a performance. One guy who was sitting at the table next to me asked if he could move closer and they told him no so he asked them why. Well they ended up trying to fix the sound and a micro phone ended up close to me. I wouldn't say anything and it was because every time I spoke the crowd could hear me. So he asked me Again. I said something along the lines of. My words are not for the weak minded. My words bare a soul that not everyone is meant to hear or understand, they are the biggest part of me and I don't share that with everyone. He then proceeded to tell me that he knew me and called me by name asked me to meet him the next day at a park. It was a beautiful sunny day. He showed up and began to tell me that he's loved me for a long time. Again I tell him I don't know him and he doesn't know me. He pulls out a box with at least 7 letters written in my own pink handwriting addressed to my love signed not by Charlene not by Nicki or Ms. Jackson not by any of the personas I have adopted over the years but by me, by my heart Nicole Hill. He didn't give up. He crossed oceans, survived bombings, and all kinds of obstacles to be with me. Hahaha and that's what friends and family took him through after his confession. There was a child in the dream a big baby. I can't figure that part out. The child was my child but not one of my three and I had not birthed this child.

And now for the interpretation of the dream by 
John Rhodes 

"Kingdomofheavenassembly Koha INTERPRETATION OF DREAM: (Test the spirit by the spirit) Charlene Onyx Henderson The Lord wants to give you more than a performance or formality, he wants to give you the real experience. He Jesus prepares a table for you in the presence of your enemies. Could that person possibly be the Lord trying to get your attention wanting to draw closer to you but you keep ignoring him. He knows your inner most thoughts and they are never to deep for him, just be honest and real with him. And once you try to get closer to the Lord those around you see the change but don't want you to change, because you are not conforming to there ways. That's why thy are saying No, he wants to give you more of him, of his spirit and fill you totally up with his PRESENCE. Jesus paid the perfect sacrifice for you he would do anything for you to get your attention including take the attacks the enemy sends your way like demonic spiritual bombings and help you through any obstacle. The child is the big DREAMS you have inside of you but afraid to give birth to it, that's why its yours, but you have to take ownership of it and not make excuses. The baby is Big cause its long over due. Box: Think about the Alabaster box it was filled with the most precious get to give to Jesus. What will you give him, is it your best. God wants to do a new thing in you, if you allow him to. Your name refers to just being real and transparent, because that's whats going to help others, people want the real you, not the false front, but be lead to who you give your secrets to not all are ready and prepared or mature enough to receive them. Rarely, do I interpret dreams, but this one I was lead to. Please pray about it and God will confirm it through two or three witnesses and not all confirmations though FB. Be Blessed and PUSH & give birth to your new child gift in you, someone else is depending on it."

Not so oddly enough I've already had My first confirmation of his interpretation literally not 15 minutes after I read the interpretation. I was at church this morning and the sermon was from Psalms 1:1-4. We actually read all six verses however we really only touched on three. 

1 Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.
2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. 
3. He is like a tree planted by the streams of water, which yields ins fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. 
 Prosper in correlation With the scripture means to come forth or to break out. I have long felt as though something was supposed to have happened in my life and it just hasn't. When I first read the interpretation I thought to myself naw that couldn't be it. But I read it multiple times and compared it to my life. I feel like I'm right there on the edge of greatness on the edge of getting to do what it is that I want to do. Right there on the edge of getting everything it is that is meant for me. I believe it enough, but I haven't acted on any of it. The closest I have come is just recently and that actually left much to be desired. I want so much and I'm trying to get some direction as to what it is that I am supposed to do first. I know that right now my biggest and greatest passion is writing. I keep wanting to write and for the most part I am writing but I'm not writing enough or maybe I am not writing the right things. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough to get my writing out there. I would actually like for this blog to go viral. Not because I want to be famous but because I feel that my words are meant to help a world of people. I can write or type all day long about a subject but ask me to get up in front of someone and actually speak about it, I am a nervous wreck! I stumble over my words and I can't remember what I'm talking about half the time. But here, in this blog in the world my words flow without embarrassment and without a care in the world. I started this blog many years ago and it kind of tells in some small way my journey from then until now. Getting my writing off the ground is one of the biggest dreams that I have yet to "give birth" to. I've also got some other things going on in my life that I am slow to move on. I know that I would like to find some other place to live. My duplex is too small for me and my three children. It would be wonderful to have a house to call our own. I have started the process of trying to get that situated and started and I just have to find the motivation to keep that going. 

So it is 4:30 in the morning and I would love to be irritated with God right now okay I might be a little peeved that I'm awake this early. I'm thankful I woke at all. Sigh- Seems like God is telling me I need to get ready and get ready quick for my blessing. My blessing is coming soon but if I'm not prepared than I will miss it all together. He could also be telling me that because I went to bed last night early and missed my time with Him that he knows that if I don't spend time with Him I will be in a mood. I do enjoy our time together quite a bit. I enjoy time with Him more than I enjoy time with my children. Not to lessen how much I enjoy time with my children. If it weren't for God I wouldn't be here today... up... at 4:30 in the morning. I felt like a child this morning waking up. I feel like God literally nudged me awake. Like God said "Get up Nicole, you have work to do." Do you remember how each summer your mother or father would wake you up for summer camp at the crack of dawn and you would think to yourself its too early for this, didn't I just go to sleep around 2 am now I'm up in the cold morning in these shorts freezing about to play outside like its even remotely warm yet... I guess those are just Ohio summers Kentucky has issues with weather I'm telling you it can be 70 degrees when you go to bed and 80 when you wake up... okay that might be an exaggeration but you kind of get what it is that I am saying. I guess I need to start my life changes today instead of sitting and waiting on them to change themselves. Lord knows all I want to do is just lay back down for this next hour and go right back to sleep. Oh well you can't get greater if you don't become greater than what you currently are.


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